Haa Gongol

I left my village for the last time yesterday. That’s a sentence I never thought would actually come. I feel as though I’ve lived a lifetime in the last two years, and, in a way, I have.

When talking about my time in Senegal, a friend of mine once shared with me a quote by Walt Whitman that says, “O me, what I was for years, now dead (I lament not, I am content).” It’s one of those quotes I kept coming back to month after month, reflecting on, as I had new experience after new experience here. It’s not that I think I’ve changed drastically from the person I was when I arrived, but more as if I’ve solidified into the person I always had the potential to be. These two years have defined a part of me that was untested before. In a selfish way, I see it as the greatest gift being in the Peace Corps has given me. It’s a steel that wasn’t there before, a readiness to get out of life everything I want to.

The physical goodbyes of yesterday, to my host family, work partners, and friends who have seen me through these last two years, was painfully difficult. We’ve been through so much together, not the least of which was their acceptance of an outsider into their homes and lives whom they took care of as their own.

Recently, my friend Megan was in Yacine Lakke visiting. We were sitting under a neem tree with my host mom on a hot afternoon, discussing mine and Meg’s imminent departure from Senegal and how sad it would be to leave. My elderly host mom, in her enthusiasm to agree with that sentiment, pulled out her left breast from underneath her loose tunic dress and held it before Meg, gesturing between it and me. ‘Ko bi am,’ she said, ‘Ko mi muynii mo’. ‘That’s my daughter. I raised her’. Meg and I giggled (no matter how long you live here you never fail to be amused by the casual appearance of a grandmother’s breast during the course of a conversation) but we understood. My host mom was saying that I wasn’t just an American who showed up and worked there for two years; I was a part of the family, I was one of her own. It’s a very special thing to feel that loved by someone who didn’t have to care so much. It adds meaning to my time as a Peace Corps volunteer.

Walking out of Yacine Lakke was hard, but walking out a stronger person than the one who came in was empowering. I’m forever grateful for the people and places in Senegal who made me the more resilient person I am today. I look back on the trainings I did, the programs I ran, and the projects I oversaw and only see the people who helped make them a reality by helping me, showing up, and being involved. Without those partnerships, and the bad times to really highlight the good times, I think the last two years would have felt empty.

Back in the States, I have a Grandma Trudy, a truly spectacular and wise lady you should consider yourself blessed to meet, if you ever have the chance. She and I have a thing between us where neither can ever say ‘goodbye’ to the other. It’s too final. It leaves no room for possibility. We always say ‘see you soon,’ in place of it. So that’s the last thing I said to my host family and village before leaving because goodbye forever didn’t seem quite right. Instead I said, ‘haa gongol’. Until next time.

DSCN5431

The view from our regional office in Ourossogui and my last sunrise in the Fouta. I won’t miss the heat but I will miss these mornings.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Haa Gongol

  1. Thank you, thank you, Erika. You and the host community in Yacine Lake seem to have found the best in each other. Please continue to share your thoughts through blogs. If you are traveling on your way home, I suspect that your mind will make comparisons with this experience, and it will be an interesting transition to the next phase of your adventurous life. You have a gift for expression of personal reflections that is a positive delight to read. The thoughts about solidifying your confidence and the selection of the incident about the mother’s breast are precious. Thank you. Best wishes.

  2. Erika, I’m the mother of another Peace Corps volunteer in Senegal, Taylor Lucey, and we’ve corresponded before. I wanted to say how very moved I was by this last post, especially in light of the recent terrorist attacks in Paris. It is so important that people like you and my daughter Taylor keep not only doing the good work around the world that you’re doing, but bringing us this beautiful insights of what it really means to be immersed in and appreciative of different cultures. Perhaps for people who can’t travel around the world as you do, this will provide rays of hope that there can still be love and harmony between people from very different cultures. Thank you, dear girl, and I wish you the best of luck with whatever you do from here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s